Twitter/Donald Trump

On Monday, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump sent a tweet that included this photo:

Here are eight conversations leading up to this tweet:


TRUMP: Great rally tonight. Let’s eat. Does Harrisburg have a Le Cirque?
AIDE: No. We got KFC.
TRUMP: The mosquito-borne blood disorder?
AIDE: Kentucky Fried Chicken. There are eight of us, so we got a bucket of chicken and an extra-large mashed potatoes and gravy.
TRUMP: Fantastic. I’ll take all of that.
AIDE: Sir, that order was for us to—
TRUMP: I said I’LL TAKE ALL OF IT


AIDE: Here’s your family-sized bucket of chicken and extra-large mashed potatoes, sir.
TRUMP: Great. This looks like the right amount of food for one man.


TRUMP: Can you get me the Wall Street Journal?
AIDE: Here you are, sir.
TRUMP: No, not this one. The one from four days ago, which is now largely irrelevant.
AIDE: Is there something wrong with today’s paper?
TRUMP: Yeah: It’s still in front of me.
AIDE:
TRUMP: Never question Trump.


AIDE: We thought it would be a good idea to get a photo of you eating KFC, to help you connect with blue-collar voters.
TRUMP: Great idea. Fetch my fancy silverware.
AIDE:
TRUMP: I said FETCH IT.


AIDE: It really would be more authentic to eat with your hands.
TRUMP: Eat chicken with my hands? Like a bear?
AIDE: Most Americans do.
TRUMP: Most Americans don’t own a toilet made out of human teeth.
AIDE:
TRUMP: It’s not the one on the plane, don’t worry.


TRUMP: Can I get some salt for this chicken?
AIDE: Sir, KFC is already loaded with sodium. I don’t think you—
TRUMP: I’m building another tooth toilet soon. I noticed you have very strong molars.
AIDE:
TRUMP:
AIDE: Did you want sea salt or granulated…


TRUMP: Can you get on the internet and check my poll numbers? The real ones, not rigged.
AIDE: Sure.
AIDE: [Making fake computer noises with mouth]
AIDE: According to the non-rigged internet, you’ve opened up an 80 point lead over Secretary Clinton. Ninety-five-percent of voters agree she should be imprisoned for Email Crimes.
TRUMP: Call the Times. They need to hear this.
AIDE: [Making fake telephone noises with his mouth]
TRUMP:
AIDE: Hello, this is Jessica Reporter, from The New York Times.
TRUMP: Jessica, it’s Trump. Get out your Steno pad, this is big.


TRUMP: I have an idea for the photo caption. “Enjoying KFC: Ktrump dFeats Crookedhillary. It’s all gravy, ladies!!”
AIDE: We already posted the photo.
TRUMP: You what?
AIDE: We thanked Ohio and Pennsylvania for the rallies, and advertised tomorrow's event in Virginia. 
TRUMP: You did a tweet? Without my permission?
AIDE: Mr. Manafort ordered me to.
TRUMP: Is the Twitter account called "@realMrManafort"?
AIDE:
TRUMP:
AIDE:
TRUMP: Take this chicken bucket away; it was disgusting and you're fired.

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