An in-depth look at Kid Rock's horrible new pro-Trump merchandise

Shortly after the 2016 election, images began showing up on the Internet of Kid Rock wearing a series of pro-Trump T-shirts.

This image, and several others were, of course, photoshopped. It’s one of the hazards of wearing a plane black T-shirt with no design on it. Snopes even dedicated a page to the photo, debunking the pictures as “False.”

But this is Kid Rock we’re talking about. His online store sells a hockey jersey with his name on the front and the words “FUCKS GIVEN 00” on the back. He’s not going to pass up a fashion opportunity like this.

So the shirts have now gone from Snopes-debunked memes to actual merchandise on sale in Kid Rock’s online store. Pretty interesting considering many of the designs were already for sale on other DIY T-shirt sites. I assume the original designers have been contacted and are being properly compensated.

But Mr. Rock’s not the only one who’s into fashion. I think my own collection of 2XL T-Shirts qualifies me as enough as a style icon to take a look at the new pro-Trump offerings with a discerning eye and tell you whether or not they are worth your time.

GOD GUNS & TRUMP

You’ve heard of the G&T? Well get ready for the GG&T.

What I love about this shirt, beyond the simple black base that is a hallmark of the Kid Rock Look, is how it embraces the concept of the trinity. Three words, three concepts, three colors of the American flag (one ampersand).

And the slightly askew “Trump” lets you know that this isn’t your daddy’s president-elect. He likes to do things a little crooked, but still completely straight.

DUMBFUCKISTAN

Unlike the meme version of this shirt, Kid Rock’s merch people have made the bold decision here to make the print on this shirt small enough to be completely unreadable without being two inches away. But when you do get close enough to make it out, get ready for a surprise that will (Kid) rock your socks off.

What? Dumbfuckistan? In one fell swoop, this shirt has implied half of America’s population are:
A) Dumb
B) Fucks
C) Have some sort of history of Persian rule

By the way, Kid Rock’s 2015 concert tour included 16 stops in Dumbfuckistan cities. Truly, he is healing the partisan divide.

_ONALD TRUMP: THE D IS MISSING BECAUSE IT’S IN EVERY HATER’S MOUTH

There’s a wonderful little play on words on this T-shirt. Make sure to read it over a few times, or you might miss it.

MAKE AMERICA BADASS AGAIN

While I’ve loved the black graphic tees, this hat is where I have to draw the line. For one, it’s completely derivative of Trump’s own line of red hats. Kid Rock is literally taking food out of Barron Trump’s mouth by selling these. And MABA is a pretty soft abbreviation compared to the hard glottal sounds of MAGA.

But most importantly, I think this hat represents a betrayal of Kid Rock’s own personal style brand that he has worked for decades to build.

Can you imagine this man wearing a jaunty bright red baseball cap? I certainly cannot, even if it is “badass” in name.