Ben Carson's terrible endorsements through history

On Monday, Donald Trump supporter Ben Carson was asked to pontificate on a potential Trump presidency. Here is part of his answer:

Even if Donald Trump turns out not to be such a great president — which I don’t think is the case, I think he’s going to surround himself with really good people — but even if he didn’t, we’re only looking at four years.

“It’s only four years” might strike you as a strange, strange endorsement. But in fact, it is totally consistent with Carson’s record. Let’s take a look back through the years at Ben Carson’s peculiar endorsement style:

Ben Carson, Marketing Director at Palm Inc., December 2006:

Even if the Palm Pilot turns out not to be the cellphone of the future — which I don’t think is the case, I think consumers will flock to its convenient stylus and tactile QWERTY keyboard for many decades — we’re only looking at a marginal drop in sales when this “iPhone” comes out.

Ben Carson, VP for Bear Stearns, December 2005:

Even if it turns out that the housing market is propped up on billions of dollars of bad loans — which I don’t think is the case, I think our bankers have certainly done their due diligence — we’re probably looking at maybe a few hundred foreclosures, and a slight dip in the global markets.

Ben Carson, Spokesman for Warner Bros. Studios, February 2000:

Even if it turns out Battlefield: Earth is not such a great movie — which I don’t think is the case, when you look at the cast, and the source material, and the pedigree of the filmmakers — but even if it turns out to be a flop, we’re only looking at a slight clunker, not an all-time career-destroying turd spectacle.

Ben Carson, Talent Agent for Garth Brooks, July 1999:

Even if it turns out that Garth Brooks fans don’t take to the musical stylings of alter-ego Chris Gaines — which I don’t think is the case, I think listeners will love the alt rock edge of lead single “Lost in You” — but even if they don’t, I’m sure it won’t be looked back on as an embarrassing misstep in an otherwise stellar country music career.

Ben Carson, Co-Founder of Jurassic Park, Amusement Park of Dinosaurs, August 1991:

Even if it turns out that reanimating the DNA of killer dinosaurs and letting them roam free in an amusement park might prove dangerous — which I don’t think is the case, I think we certainly have the necessary safeguards in place to prevent wide-scale dinosaur attacks—but even if we don’t, we should be able to evacuate the island quickly, without anyone getting eaten or maimed by a Tyrannosaurus.

Ben Carson, Lead Designer of the Hindenburg Airship, February 1936:

Even if the Hindenburg turns out not to be such a great dirigible — which I don’t think is the case, I think it’s going to fly straight across the sky without crashing even a little bit — but even if it doesn’t, it will probably just slowly sink back down to earth, and not explode.

Ben Carson, Jacket Maker for William Henry Harrison, April 1841:

Even if William Henry Harrison’s jacket turns out to be too thin for his lengthy outdoor inaugural address—which I don’t think is the case, I think President Harrison will leave the stage feeling healthy and hale—but even if he doesn’t, he’ll probably just have pneumonia for a few days, nothing more serious.

Ben Carson, Pistol Designer for Aaron Burr, July, 1804:

Even if Aaron Burr manages to fire off his pistol in the direction of Alexander Hamilton — which I don’t think will be the case, as Burr has tiny hands, and terrible aim—but even if he does, the bullet will probably sail far away from Hamilton, given the inaccuracy of modern weaponry here at the beginning of the 19th century.

Ben Carson, Angel in Heaven, 4000 B.C.:

Even if it turneth out that Eve gets seduced by the wyck’d serpent — which I don’t think is the case, I think the Lord Almighty hath given unto her clear instructions not to taste of the Forbidden Fruit— but even if she doth, God shall surely show mercy unto her, and let her stay in the peaceful Garden.