This weekend, Winter Storm Jonas is expected to blanket much of the country in snow, with up to two feet of accumulation possible in parts of the mid-Atlantic.
That's a serious forecast, but a less than serious name—a name that puts many, including at least one member of the Jonas Brothers, in mind of the Jonas Brothers.
Why can't we always look to pop culture for our winter storm names? We've put together 26 suggestions that should keep the Weather Channel going for a while. (In the meantime, here's an amazing fact: Yolo is on their preselected list of winter storm names for 2016.)
A is for Winter Storm Adele
Funny how the 40-mph winds sound almost like the sighs of an ex-lover.
B is for Winter Storm Bieber
Winter Storm Bieber will destroy everything in its path, and possibly—in an atmospheric phenomenon that science has yet to explain—egg your house.
C is for Winter Storm Cookie
Winter Storm Cookie is here to get what's hers, and what's hers is the entire Eastern seaboard.
D is for Winter Storm Drake
Those aren't raindrops. They're tears.
E is for Winter Storm Erykah
Imagine an even more interesting remix of Winter Storm Drake.
F is for Winter Storm Fetty
There were once two eyes to this storm, but Fetty lost one to childhood glaucoma.
G is for Winter Storm Gwyneth
H is for Winter Storm Hillary
Winter Storm Hillary is expected to make landfall in Washington, D.C.
I is for Winter Storm Iggy
Iggy is a winter storm, but don't be surprised if it blatantly appropriates the characteristics of a blizzard or hurricane.
J is for Winter Storm J.Law
The first-ever winter storm to get nominated for an Oscar, a BAFTA, a SAG Award, and three Golden Globes.
K is for Winter Storm Kardashian
Nothing ups a selfie's drama factor quite like hailstones.
L is for Winter Storm Laverne
Drivers beware: Orange is the new black ice.
M is for Winter Storm Mike
Conditions will be wet. Very wet.
N is for Winter Storm Nicki
Today it's icy, but we're praying for some more snow.
O is for Winter Storm Oprah
You get a blizzard! You get a blizzard! Everybody gets a blizzard!
P is for Winter Storm Pitbull
For the duration of this storm, please pretend "gale" rhymes with "dale." Thank you.
Q is for Winter Storm Questlove
The rhythm of rainfall never sounded quite so good.
R is for Winter Storm Rihanna
Bitch better have my bread and milk.
S is for Winter Storm Shakira
Your meteorologist's mouth may lie, but his hips don't.
T is for Winter Storm Taylor
I knew you were trouble when you blew in.
U is for Winter Storm Usher
Unfortunately, with a wind-chill factor below zero, you're going to have to keep your shirt on.
V is for Winter Storm Vin
2 Fast 2 Frigid.
W is for Winter Storm Wes
A twee, meticulously art-directed weather event.
X is for Winter Storm Xzibit
I heard you like snow, so we put some snow in your forecast.
Y is for Winter Storm Yeezy
What up, Freezus?
Z is for Winter Storm Zayn
Expect gusts blowing in every direction.
Molly Fitzpatrick is senior editor of Fusion's Pop & Culture section. Her interests include movies about movies, TV shows about TV shows, and movies about TV shows, but not so much TV shows about movies.