General Mills

Biz Markie has bills to pay and General Mills has wishes to make reality, so the two have teamed up to promote what one imagines has been the fever dream of many a pre-diabetic child: Lucky Charms without the deformed Cheerio bits.

What we're talking about here cannot, in the truest sense, be described as a breakfast cereal (see: definition of "cereal.") No, this is literally just a box of dehydrated marshmallows in a series of fun, sugary shapes.

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Currently, General Mills only plans on giving away 10 boxes of the stuff to a select group of contest winners. Those interested have to snap a picture of themselves with an imaginary box of Lucky Charms and then post it to Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook using the hashtag #Lucky10Sweepstakes.

As you might expect, people are making damned fools of themselves for this madness. Oddly enough, a lot of these people appear to be morning news reporters.

https://twitter.com/anamcohen/status/654500436745940992

In other news, according to the CDC, childhood obesity rated have "more than quadrupled" in adolescents over the past 30 years.  Back to you, Jim.