Fuzipop!

Fuzipop, an event company that hosts a monthly dance party for kids 12 and under at some of Manhattans trendiest nightclubs, is gaining steady popularity among prepubescents and parents alike. Where was this when we were 9, mom?!

According to the story CNN Money ran, Fuzipop has been doing these events for roughly 200 fake-tattooed elementary kids every month for about a year. The cost? $20 for one parent and one child or the wholesome family of four discount at $60.

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Jesse Sprague and his wife Jenny Song are the owners of this "family entertainment" saying, "This is what we used to do all the time but don't get to do anymore. All the parents said they would pay to do this, so we made a business out of it."

So, basically old ravers living vicariously through their 10-year-olds.

Image by Fuzipop

As the kids lounge in VIP guzzling down bottle service (aka juice boxes), mommy and her friends are enjoying their own special juice.

Image by Fuzipop

Image by Fuzipop

To add to this adorable debauchery, there's even a 9-year-old DJ named DJ Kai, who spins at every Fuzipop event and already has a record deal with songs on iTunes (if your self-esteem wasn't low enough already).

Image by Fuzipop

Is any of this profitable? Sprague told CNN Money not yet but they are breaking even.

Cheers to screwing up the next generation even more. Clink!