Conservative Idiots Abandon Their Followers in a Heartbeat to Meet Kanye West

There are two good—or at least non-horrifying—things that have come out of Kanye West’s recent cavorting with white supremacy. One is the cute Quiet Place parody from the latest episode of Saturday Night Live. The other is this objectively funny story from the Washington Examiner (I know, I know) about a horde of conservative college students who were pissed that Charlie Kirk and Candace Owens, two former unknowns and current professional dummies, ditched them to hang out with West.

Last week, Turning Point USA—a ridiculous right wing “non-profit” aimed at high school and college students which was founded by Kirk and where Owens serves as “Director of Urban Engagement”—was supposed to hold an event with students from Virginia Tech and Liberty University. But hours before the event was supposed to occur, it was suddenly canceled. Kirk and Owens cited “travel issues and conflicting events.” What could that be? They seem very “chill” in this picture—not like the type of people to bail!!!

Well, it just so happens that the “conflicting event” was the opportunity to meet Kanye West. Kirk and Owens were spotted hanging out with West, presumably discussing whether or not slaves could just, you know, leave, or whether or not burping is technically a mouth fart (or is a fart a butt burp??), and/or other exercises in radical free thinking.

Anyway, I guess this Turning Point event had been in the works for months, so its sudden cancelation left a bunch of conservative students at a loss. That’s when things really started to fall apart. The Examiner reported that the faculty adviser of the Virginia Tech chapter of Turning Point USA stepped down, as did two student members of the board of directors. Everyone was very emotional:

“I was angry and then just deflated. I’ll never understand it if I’m being honest. They just thought about things nationally,” the student, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said in an interview. “We got fucked. There is no other way to explain this. We were small fish in a big pond and we definitely got used.”

According to the Examiner, Kirk apologized and said he felt horrible, which I refuse to believe. The man was just validated by one of the most prolific and successful rappers/producers of all time. There is no way Kirk would ever give that up for a bunch of poli-sci majors who unironically look up to Ron Swanson and feel personally attacked when their professors mention socialism. We reached out to Turning Point and will update if we hear back.

Anyway, condolences to the young adults who are just now realizing that they can’t always get what they want, not even a Charlie Kirk appearance.