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How is this possible?! It's supposed to be Justin Bieber's night with this Comedy Central Roast, but Zayn Malik — former One Direction member and total babe — maintained his stone cold fox status and claimed every ounce of relevance and according to Peopleallegedly put out a new track!  We canNOT deal!

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

Perez Hilton is reporting that Zayn already has a demo put together and just posted this jam, "I Won't Mind" to a SoundCloud account. Listen Here:

https://soundcloud.com/youthonix/i-wont-mind-zayn-naughty-demo

We all expected the boy with the high-notes would go solo, but we never thought it would be five short days after quitting One Direction. Zayn is not wasting any time.

YASSS ZAYN! 🙌💯✨

Akilah Hughes is a comedian, YouTuber, and staff writer and producer for Fusion's culture section. You can almost always find her waxing poetic about memes and using too many emojis. 🍕