Exclusive: Marco Rubio NOT the only Republican candidate with fancy boots

Marco Rubio has a pair of fancy boots. They are black and shiny, and have what I would call a mid-heel. Good for the days when you’re on the move but still want a little height. A fine boot.

Everyone is talking about these boots, including The New York Times,Vanity Fair, and other Republican presidential candidates.

Here is a pretty representative tweet from Ted Cruz’s rapid response director, Brian Phillips, on Rubio’s fancy boots.

Now here is the thing: This tweet suggests that Cruz has not, himself, also worn fancy boots.

I am here to tell you that’s a lie.

In fact, the current Republican presidential field is basically a fancy boot-off.

Spotlight!

Exhibit A: Ted Cruz’s boots

From another angle:

Shiny? ✔️

Mid-heeled? ✔️

Pointy toed? ✔️

Ornately decorated? ✔️

Verdict: Fancy boots.

Exhibit B: Jeb Bush’s boots

Shiny? ✔️

Mid-heeled? ✔️

Ornately decorated? ✔️

Pointy toed? ❌

Verdict: Fancy boots.

Exhibit C: Rick Santorum’s boots

Shiny? ✔️

Mid-heeled? ✔️

Pointy toed? ✔️

Ornately decorated? ✔️

Verdict: Fancy boots.

Exhibit D: Mike Huckabee’s boots

Shiny? ✔️

Mid-heeled? ❌

Pointy toed? ✔️

Ornately decorated? ✔️

Verdict: Fancy boots.

Now maybe some of you will say, “No, those are just cowboy boots! Cowboy boots are different than fancy boots!”

Wrong. Cowboy boots are shiny, have mid-height heels, are ornately decorated, and are fancy. They are fancy boots.