Fox News Is Losing Its Mind Over the Sean Hannity-Michael Cohen Scandal

On Monday afternoon, attorneys for President Donald Trump’s embattled lawyer Michael Cohen revealed that thumb-shaped Fox News ghoul Sean Hannity was a secret client of Cohen’s. And while the revelation was met with laughter both inside the courtroom and across the rest of the media, it led to everyone at Fox News itself losing their fucking minds on Monday night.

Let’s start with Tucker Carlson, the network’s chief white supremacist. He insisted that the fact Hannity had condemned the recent FBI raid on Cohen’s office and home without disclosing that Cohen was his attorney was “nobody’s business.”

“Keep in mind, Sean Hannity is a talk show host. He’s not under investigation by anyone for anything. Who he hires as a lawyer and why is nobody’s business,” Carlson said. “No judge has a right to violate his privacy or anybody else’s. Those used to be the rules, but the rules have changed.”

Then came legal “expert” Alan Dershowitz, who currently serves as Trump’s semi-informal adviser (but only when he’s talking to him through the TV). Dershowitz very mildly called Hannity out for not disclosing his ties to Cohen, while insisting that “you had the right, by the way, not to have your identity revealed.”

“I have the right to privacy,” Hannity agreed, to which Dershowitz offered this brilliant piece of legal analysis: “It’s a complex situation when you’re speaking to millions of people.”

Damn, insightful reasoning!

Finally, as Hannity’s segment wound down and he prepared to toss over to Laura “was that a Nazi salute?” Ingraham, we were treated to this gem:

I was just going to say “Hannity, Hannity, Hannity, Hannity, Hannity, Hannity, Hannity, Hannity, Hannity, Hannity, Hannity”… I love all the different intonations. I got vertigo. I don’t even know if I can continue with the show after watching that. Hannity, all I can say is… Say this: You’re like my brother, but I’m glad for like a millisecond the heat’s off me and on you.