John Kelly Can't Even Keep Trump From Using His Old Cell Phone

When Mr. Retired Four-Star Marine Corps General John Kelly replaced Reince Priebus as Donald Trump’s chief of staff last summer, he was hailed (falsely) as a “beacon of discipline” and an “apolitical force” that would serve to moderate the erratic (but consistently racist) president. These days, it turns out, he can’t even keep Trump from using his cell phone.

As reported by CNN on Monday night, Trump, who had apparently used the White House switchboard more when Kelly started, is now relying on his personal cell phone again. One senior White House official said that the president is “talking to all sorts of people on it,” which another source said was because “he doesn’t want Kelly to know who he’s talking to.” This is not only an act of rebellion against The Honor of the Military (Kelly), but also against anyone even remotely concerned with security, given that cell phones are much more vulnerable to eavesdropping.

One person also told CNN that “a lot of meetings, a lot of things have happened lately without Kelly being in the room.” Who could have possibly guessed that Kelly, whose goal was to make the White House more functionally racist and corrupt, would utterly fail at even keeping Trump from gossiping with his BFFs?