Joob Bieber joins Poot Lovato in weird pop star meme hell

Last month, a Tumblr user by the name cstcrpt transformed an unflattering photo of Demi Lovato into a stupid but perfect meme about the singer having a secret sister named Poot Lovato who has been locked in a basement all her life.

On Wednesday, a Tumblr account named shadyitunesedits posted a severely unflattering photo of Justin Bieber. The user writes in the caption that it’s actually a picture of JB’s secret brother, Joob Bieber, who has been locked in their mom’s attic his entire life.

The Gospel of Joob (and the gnostic Gospel of Joot) has already spread from Tumblr to pop music fan forum ATRL and now over to Twitter. Everyone’s having a good time. You know who else once had a good time? The people of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Heed my words: This meme is not just a meme. It is a sign of the end times. For as the Book of Revelation clearly states:

I saw when Tumblr opened one of the seals…

And I heard, as it were the noise of marijuana being snorted, one of the four memes saying, “no its becky.” And I saw and beheld a “White Horse,” and she who sat upon him held a cease and desist notice in her hands. A crown was given unto her, and she went forth conquering and welcoming Joan Baez to the stage.

And when Tumblr opened the second seal…

I heard the second meme say, “delete it fat.” And there went out another horse that was red. Power was given to she who sat thereon to take peace from your mentions and bully innocents over Snapchat. And there was given unto her a comfortable mug. She was not cool for the summer.

And when Tumblr had opened the third seal…

I heard the third meme say, “At least clap on the right notes stooooop stop stop stopstopstopstop.” And I beheld a black IO Hawk, on which the meme stood with a McDonald’s mop bucket in hand. He dismounted to pop and lock upon the scorched Earth below. The dancing was OK. It could have been better.