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A (soon to be former, I imagine) McDonald's employee arrested for dealing heroin via Happy Meals. More like Euphoria Meals, amirite?

There's great journalism coming out of my home state of Texas. Case in point: this Texas Monthly piece on when a church becomes a cult.

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"Alone Yet Not Alone," the song from the eponymous film, has had its Oscar nomination for "Best Original Song" revoked after its composer improperly reached out to members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences—the group who picks the Oscar winners—to get them to vote for it. It shouldn't matter, though. It's nowhere near as good as "The Moon Song," an original track from the motion picture Her.

Speaking of the Academy Awards, here's a great montage featuring every film to have won an Oscar for visual effects.

Actress Scarlett Johansson has chosen to sever her ties to Oxfam International, a nonprofit organization that works towards combating poverty and injustice worldwide. The reason? ScarJo wants to continue being a global brand ambassador for SodaStream, an Israeli company that has a manufacturing plant in a West Bank settlement. Philanthropy: it's great until it starts affecting your bottom line.

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Is your doctor a jerk? If so, you should replace him or her. Mean doctors tend to be bad at their jobs.

A spurned woman at Penn State got even with her cheating ex by taking a full page ad in the school paper (the Penn State Daily Collegian),. As if that weren't enough, she also started a hilarious Tumblr called "GoFockUrself."

GIF BREAK! Evolution told in one GIF

That slice of pizza you're having for lunch? It took 42 gallons of water to produce it.

The mayor of Sochi, home of the 2014 Winter Olympics, recently made the claim that there are no gays in his city. This photographic profile begs to differ.

This is my nightmare: certain snakes can contort themselves into the shape of a UFO and remain airborne for up to 100 feet.

Fidel Martinez is an editor at Fusion.net. He's also a Texas native and a lifelong El Tri fan.