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What are we reading this morning? Take a look for yourself. Here's a link dump to go with that cup o' joe:

This is just great. Drug dealer explains why he loves Art Basel. Here’s a hint: New Yorkers overpay for crap cocaine.

Note to self: don’t go to Mumbai for spring break.

Aron Ralston, the subject of the gruesome film 127 Hours, arrested for assault.

Satanists looking to erect statue next to one of the Ten Commandments. Master trolling.

NSA morale down after the Edward Snowden leaks. Aw, poor them.

There will soon be Fifty Shades of Grey underwear because capitalism.

Frightening headline is frightening: “We are now able to eavesdrop on the brain,” says scientists.

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Lesbian waitress who lied about the anti-gay rant on the receipt fired for, well, lying.

Boy meets girl. Boy accidentally shoots girl in the leg while hunting. Boy and girl fall in love.

Fidel Martinez is an editor at Fusion.net. He's also a Texas native and a lifelong El Tri fan.