'My colleagues call me the gold governor.' The Nazi gold train saga forges on.

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Through the dire month of September, stretching into the cold, unfeeling month of October, and even into the desperate, futile oblivion of November, there was no news about Nazi gold. Perhaps the Nazi gold search never had a chance. Perhaps Nazi gold was dead.

And then, a few days ago, a signal sprung up in the darkness, in the form of a Guardian article:

Engineers are set to start surveying a railway embankment in south-western Poland to establish how to dig out a “gold train” that is thought to have been buried there in the dying days of the Third Reich.

The engineers! They’re there, and they’re gonna figure out how to get to the Nazi gold!

Our original treasure hunters—two amateur rubes, claiming to have found the train—continue to run their mouth to the media: one told the Guardian that searches by Russia and the U.S. failed and their search succeeded because “we are local people.” Confidence is an important character trait.

Meanwhile, the governor of the Nazi gold district is HYPE about the prospects of finding Nazi gold:

“I’m no Indiana Jones,” said the district governor, Jacek Cichura, “but my colleagues in the rest of Poland now call me the gold governor. We are in a special economic zone. Life is tough. The young people are leaving to work abroad. But the gold train has brought a tourism boom.”

“My colleagues in the rest of Poland now call me the gold governor” is the best quote you’ll read in a news story all year. Cherish the Nazi gold while it lasts, my people.

Michael Rosen is a reporter for Fusion based out of Oakland.

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