Famed neo-Nazi Richard Spencer, with a complicated response to Donald Trump. (Image via AP)

Today, the New York Times published an astonishing piece wondering whether or not Donald Trump—a man who has defended neo-Nazis and Confederate statues; become a pin-up for white supremacists; displayed shocking bigotry towards Muslims; terrorized immigrants; discriminated against black renters; and refused to apologize for campaigning for the execution of five teenagers of color who were falsely accused of gang-rape—is personally racist. OK.

The article is titled “Trump Has Always Had Complicated Personal Relations With Blacks,” so right away we’re off to a great start.

After talking with three black people who knew Trump somewhat personally, one of whom he dated, one of whom was Al Sharpton (he has bad things to say), and one of whom is former Trump spokeswoman Katrina Pierson, the Times concludes that things are “complicated,” essentially winking and coyly saying, “I’ll never tell!!”

Some highlights:

“I didn’t hide my race from Donald Trump. He knew,” Ms. Young said in a rare interview. “He would say, ‘You’re like Derek Jeter.’ And I would say, ‘Exactly.’”

Yes, biracial people are very complicated, but can be better understood through the Law of Derek Jeter.

“Just because you’re a nationalist and you’re white doesn’t make you a white nationalist,” said Katrina Pierson, an African-American who was a spokeswoman for Mr. Trump’s presidential campaign. “Putting Americans first makes you a nationalist and in that case, I’m a nationalist. I think we should take care of our families and our children first.”

You can just take the white out of white nationalism, right? Oh gosh it’s all so…complicated!

Abe Wallach, a former Trump Organization executive, said Mr. Trump is colorblind when it comes to keeping people at bay.

“Forget black friends — he doesn’t have any friends,” he said. “He’s actually a lonely man.”

What is more complicated than loneliness, which truly knows no color?

She dated Mr. Trump nearly 20 years ago, but Ms. Young, whose mother is black and whose father is white, recalled a man with limited understanding of other cultures. He didn’t talk much about race or racial history, she said, but he had a curious racial awareness and a propensity for stereotypes.

“We went to the U.S. Open once, and a lot of black people came because it was Venus and Serena,” she said, referring to the Williams sisters. “He was impressed that a lot of black people came to the U.S. Open because they were playing.”

Black people, he seemed to think, did not watch tennis.

Offensive stereotypes about black people enjoying tennis? Jury’s still out—too complicated!

Ms. Pierson said she was proof that Mr. Trump was not a racist because as soon as he decided to run for president, he hired her as a national spokeswoman for his campaign and encouraged her to speak on multiple television networks.

Tell me, why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?