Gregg DeGuire

Russell Wilson, the quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks, has yet to have sex with his girlfriend (world-famous recording artist Ciara), but that isn't stopping him from writing some real weird #womancrushwednesday posts on Instagram and Twitter.

There's nothing inherently wrong with that, really, except it seems pretty clear Wilson turned to, uh, Googling "how to describe a beautiful woman" to write the captions.

Here's Wilson's tweet:

And then, mere minutes later, Billboard associate editor Natalie Weiner revealed the truth:

Yes, it appears to be the case: Russell Wilson Googled "how to describe a beautiful woman" before writing this #wcw post, and clicked one of the first results. He found himself on descriptivewriting.wordpress.com, and just up and lifted the description from the section on "sweet lips."

Alas, it didn't stop there. Here's an Instagram Wilson posted…

…that has a caption copied from the same descriptivewriting.wordpress.com page:

Here are some more descriptions from descriptions.wordpress.com, in case you wanted to try at home. (This is from their level 5 description example, labeled "COMPLEX WRITING: BEWARE THE BEAUTY")

Her sliver-of-moon eyebrows were burglar-black and stole my soul. If she had just batted those long and languourous eyelashes in my direction, I could have talked to her. I stared at her pouting, silicone-enhanced lips. They were Aphrodite-red and looked as sweet as strawberries. She had a telegenic look and a statuesque figure. It was comely to the eye and svelte and sultry. Her sea-nymph ears, tucked away in the glorious tresses of her hair, looked delicate and pared to perfection.

Hell yeah.

(h/t Deadspin)

Michael Rosen is a reporter for Fusion based out of Oakland.