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Anthony Scaramucci: best colleague ever? Following another one of those rare Trump administration leaks, the new White House Communications Director let loose on his coworkers during an impromptu phone call with The New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza. Let me tell you, Scaramucci sounds like a real nice, smooth-talking, fella.

The Mooch, as refers to himself, is evidently not a fan of more than one of his colleagues: namely, White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon and Chief of Staff Reince Priebus.

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Here’s the gist of Scaramucci’s call to Lizza. A Senior White House staffer told Lizza that the president was dining with Fox News host Sean Hannity, former Fox News executive Bill Shine, Scaramucci, and Melania Trump. Lizza tweeted the information. Scaramucci got pissed, called Lizza, and demanded that the journalist reveal his source, which refused to do.

Throughout the conversation Scaramucci seems convinced that Priebus leaked the dinner’s guests to Lizza because he wasn’t invited. Despite labelling Priebus as “paranoid” it’s really Scaramucci who comes across as slightly delusional.

Here’s Scaramucci on Priebus:

“Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac,” Scaramucci said. He channelled Priebus as he spoke: “ ‘Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months.’ ” (Priebus did not respond to a request for comment.)“

And here’s Scaramucci with a both hilarious and disgusting take on Bannon:

“Scaramucci also told me that, unlike other senior officials, he had no interest in media attention. “I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock,” he said, speaking of Trump’s chief strategist. “I’m not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President. I’m here to serve the country.” (Bannon declined to comment.)“

Scaramucci also told Lizza he had already called his contacts in the Department of Justice to find the leaker, despite how very much against protocol conversations between White House staffers and the DOJ are supposed to be.

But “The Mooch” is not fucking around (even if it’s against procedure):

“O.K., the Mooch showed up a week ago,” he said. “This is going to get cleaned up very shortly, O.K.? Because I nailed these guys. I’ve got digital fingerprints on everything they’ve done through the F.B.I. and the fucking Department of Justice.”

And “the swamp” will not stop him, in his own words:

“The swamp will not defeat him,” he said, breaking into the third person. “They’re trying to resist me, but it’s not going to work. I’ve done nothing wrong on my financial disclosures, so they’re going to have to go fuck themselves.”

Scaramucci’s phone call with Lizza came the night before he gave another totally off the rails interview to CNN (in which he pleasantly quoted defamed Penn. State football coach Joe Paterno).

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If only there was a way to go back in time to delete things you wish you hadn’t said, or typed.