LinkedIn

Shaq has a better LinkedIn profile then you will ever have in your life. His job? “Owner, Alot of companies, Inc.”

Yes, that’s “Alot.” One word. His job description is as follows:

"I'm working on a lot of different ventures. My best asset is that I am proven to lead teams to championships. I mean multiple championships."

His profile was confirmed this morning by both Slate and USA Today. His profile also includes his education at LSU and Barry University. Shaq received a doctorate from Barry in human resource development by writing a capstone on “The Duality of Humor and Aggression in Leadership Styles.” Shaq's LinkedIn profile picture is in fact the former center in his doctoral graduation regalia.

We already knew from Shaq's time as a Miami Beach reserve police officer in 2004 (when Shaq played for the Heat), that Shaq's skills included "Laptop computer, binnochulars [sic], master of surveillance." His weaknesses, according to himself, is "Don't express myself when he feels he should. His father was a drill sgt. who taught him to keep everything in." It's nice to know that a little grammar trouble and a brief association with Aaron Carter never stood in Shaq's way.