Olive Garden

Olive Garden has rebranded its five mascots for its kids menu, and something is very wrong here.

Olive Garden

As BrandEating.com points out, they all have crazy eyes, are giving strange and leering looks, and appear to be strung out in some sort of fashion.

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Indeed, Olive Garden's own descriptions of the new characters do not give us much confidence that they are fit for hanging around children.

Here's Ricky Ravioli.

Olive Garden

Ricky "talks and walks fast, and plays tricks and games for a good laugh." Is he a grifter? We would definitely not let Ricky play with our children, or let him drive.

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Tonya Tomato, who appropriately has a "saucy sense of humor," is also said to be "more mature than some of her friends."

Hmm.

Olive Garden

And then there's Ollie the Olive.

Olive Garden

He apparently "leads his friends on wacky adventures" and "keeps things fun," allegedly by "making others laugh" but…we're pretty sure he might have other ways of "keeping things fun" too than just cracking jokes. What is in that bowl, Ollie the Olive?

The mascots didn't always look so insane. Here's the cover of a coloring book from a kinder, gentler time in the quintet's life.

We hope they can put their lives back together.

Rob covers business, economics and the environment for Fusion. He previously worked at Business Insider. He grew up in Chicago.