Stories I Do Not Care About Today

We are only allowed a fleeting, finite amount of time and headspace in this life. I’ve recently begun to feel this even more acutely as I spend more of my waking hours following the news on the internet. What has (occasionally) saved me from teetering over the edge entirely is practicing a kind of mindful ignorance—choosing to fully ignore the news stories I find so dumb, so galling, or so otherwise oppressively boring that I simply cannot force myself to give them more than a passing, disinterested glance.

After a one-two punch of big stories breaking late in the day on Wednesday—Hope Hicks is leaving! Donald Trump and guns!—today I am awash in this other kind of news story.

Here, ripe for your righteous derision, is a partial list of the stories that, for various reasons, I don’t care about today:

• Donald Trump announcing he will impose new tariffs on imported aluminum and steel as soon as next week. Tariffs?? Who’s she!
• Lingering questions about Melania Trump’s immigration credentials. Don’t care!
• Russian President Vladimir Putin testing out something he characterized as “invincible” nuclear weapons. (This one is mostly out of self-preservation.)
• Literally anything the Dow is doing. This one is Evergreen.
• Any friendly, well-wishing profiles lovingly looking back on Hicks’ tenure working for Trump.

What story—not this one, that’s cheating!—do you hate today? Let me know in the comments!