The novice pot smoker's guide to sex on weed

By now you’ve probably heard that weed can be a fantastic aphrodisiac. From its use in ancient tantric rituals to modern-day mating, it’s even been nicknamed “nature’s Viagra.”

But if you’re like many young people, your only exposure to the sticky-icky has been in college or at parties, where you’ve smoked other people’s joints and hit off other people’s bongs.

So, if you live in a state where pot is legal, how do you bring weed into the bedroom if you’re not sure how to get the green stuff from the bag into your body without just eating it? (Please, don’t do that.) Let our beginner’s guide lead the way.

Before we start, remember: Never ever dose your partner without his or her consent. Pot in the bedroom should be a joint experience. No pun intended. Now then!

First, clear your mind and get in the moment

Before using cannabis with your partner, it’s important to get into the right (chill) headspace. “No matter the method or strain of cannabis used, the real key to its implementation is the individual’s intention that they bring to the experience,” said Kami Lennox, who is  researching the effects of cannabis on sex with well-known sexologist Nick Karras.

“If the mind is open to the infinite potential of the moment, then the benefits of increased sensation can be harnessed, especially in the realm of sexuality,” Lennox told Fusion.

“The high of cannabis allows its user to slow down and become more mindful, thus enabling the sexual exchange to become less goal-oriented and more about the present sexploration process.”

Mellow mindset? Check. Now onto the basics.

Second, note that strain and dose are key

The two most important things to understand when it comes to sex and weed are strain and dose. Karras, the sexologist, recommends a sativa or hybrid mix for peak intimacy. Why? Sativas create euphoric, happy, energetic feelings.

When ordering (legally, of course), never be afraid to speak up and ask for a good sex strain! Some popular ones are Lavender Trainwreck, Cinderella, and Super Lemon Haze.

Also, bear in mind that everyone reacts differently. “I’ve been finding that people with ADHD, they prefer the indica strains,” said Karras. Indica is generally associated with mellow, sedated highs—the weed that puts you to sleep—but may work as an aphrodisiac for some. For more info about specific strains and sex, check out our do’s and don’ts for getting high with your honey.

Method no. 1: Sex on weed using bowls and bubblers

Now onto the methods. Smoking is, of course, a popular method for many, since cannabis is quickly absorbed from the lungs into the bloodstream. If you’re too intimidated to roll your own joint, however, a bowl or bubbler is your new best friend. You simply load (“pack the bowl“), light, and smoke.

For the uninitiated, a bubbler is like a bowl, but has water at the bottom, which makes the smoke intake a little smoother than a regular bowl. Read: less coughing.

What it does: “Smoking is a pretty immediate high, which can work well in intimate situations,” said Karras. In other words, you’ll feel the euphoric, sexually arousing affects instantly. “At that point it’s all about touching and feeling,” said Karras. Just ride with it.

Method no. 2: Sex on weed using joints

Smoking a joint requires rolling a joint, which can be tricky. You’ll need papers, a grinder, perhaps a little instruction, and some patience if you’re a first-timer. (FYI, grinders are devices that, yes, grind the herb into the proper size and consistency.) If you’re aiming to make the experience romantic, you might want to pre-roll the joint before your date, to avoid having to frantically google “How to roll a joint” in front of your boo.

What it does: Like bowls and bubblers, the high can be pretty instant, which can be good for romance. “In a sexual situation, it quickly puts you into a mindful place where you can connect with your partner,” said Karras.

Method no. 3: Sex on weed using edibles

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Pot edibles are a popular gag on TV and in movies—you know, Watch out for those brownies! But in real life, taking advantage of edibles, especially in the bedroom, requires some finesse.

First of all, the method offers a different high than smoking, since the cannabis is absorbed through your digestive tract. Edibles can take nearly an hour to kick in—you don’t really know when the cannabis will take effect—and they usually create a less euphoric high. In fact, they generally create a stoned, comatose high. Not so sexy.

Cooking edibles also requires knowledge about dosage—and since you might not know how much of a “hit” you’re getting with each bite, the method can be risky. Many have fallen into the trap of initially feeling nothing, eating more, then feeling too much.

What it does: According to Karras, edibles are not the best option for sex, unless you’re experienced with how your body reacts. “Stay as far away from the edibles as you can because of dosage,” he said. “If you’re planning a romantic evening, you don’t want to screw it up.” Also, the high can last four to six hours, which can be overwhelming for some.

Method no. 4: Sex on weed using loose-leaf portable vaporizers

For those who’d prefer a sleek alternative to smoking, consider the loose leaf vape pen. These work similarly to bowls: You pack a little ground-up weed into the chamber, let the pen heat up (usually one to five minutes), and then start taking hits. There’s even a little light that tells you when it’s good to go. Instead of smoke, you’re inhaling vapor, and the high is pretty fast.

You can also invest in a table-top vaporizer, but they’re not usually as portable (and thus, as convenient) as pens.

What it does: The speed of a vape pen means you can get to the intimate part of the experience more quickly. Plus, the lack of actual smoke means no unsexy coughing or throat burning. The downside? A good pen like the Pax (yep, the one Abbi and Ilana use on Broad City) runs about $200.

Method no. 5: Sex on weed using topicals

With the country’s shift toward marijuana legalization, several new and exciting products are emerging in the topical department—including cannabis-infused lube and massage oils. Foria sells a THC lube that promises to intensify orgasms; Apothecanna Colorado makes THC-infused lotions (many meant for pain relief or massage); and even spas are getting in on the action.

What it does: Since the cannabis is absorbed through the skin, topicals produce only localized effects. “We created a product that is non-psychoactive,” the CEO of Foria told Fusion. “It’s a sensory based experience.” These products can certainly add spice to your bedroom life, but they may not create the same intimate connection with your partner as a whole-body high.

Finally, remember, practice makes perfect

One last tip? “Many first time users of cannabis find themselves overwhelmed by the experience and never give it another try,” said Lennox. “Practice is key.”

Taryn Hillin is Fusion’s love and sex writer, with a large focus on the science of relationships. She also loves dogs, Bourbon barrel-aged beers and popcorn — not necessarily in that order.