Trump Is Reportedly Obsessing Over the Stormy Daniels Interview

Yesterday, the White House refused to give a straight answer on whether or not President Trump, a Diet Coke-fueled nitwit, watched his alleged mistress, adult actress Stormy Daniels, draw bigger ratings than every damn season of The Apprentice. Well DUH Trump watched the damn thing!

In a piece about how uncharacteristically restrained Trump has been in responding to the Daniels shitstorm, the Washington Post reports that not only did Trump watch the 60 Minutes interview, but he also obsessively discussed it with people while calling Daniels’ claims a “hoax”:

Trump — who was among the estimated 22 million Americans who watched the Daniels interview that aired Sunday night — asked staff in the White House if they, too, had watched and wondered what they thought of it, someone who has spoken to him said. The president said that he personally did not think Daniels appeared credible, added this person, who has talked to the president about his interactions with the pornographic film star and did not want to be identified discussing them.

The Post wrote that Trump also pulled a classic Trump move, claiming that Daniels is not “the type of woman he finds attractive,” the same attack he lobbed at women who accused him of sexual assault, as if that absolves him. Also, Sam Nunberg (yes! That Sam Nunberg!) told the paper that Trump isn’t worried that his alleged extra-marital dalliances will hurt the evangelical Christian support for him, saying, “I don’t think anybody believes that they elected Saint Joseph.”

In conclusion, no one knows how to play it cool like Donald Trump, a man who thinks everyone believes he wasn’t glued to the TV for the Stormy Daniels interview and totally isn’t running around asking everyone what they thought about it.