'Very spacious!' The best-worst Yelp reviews of LaGuardia Airport

Governor Andrew Cuomo announced yesterday that New York’s LaGuardia Airport will undergo a much-needed $4 billion redesign. Within six years, said the governor, today’s LaGuardia will be replaced by something “New Yorkers deserve, and have deserved for a long time.” Goodbye, low-ceilings, hello, ground transportation.

The airport has been long been derided, most prominently by Vice President Joe Biden, who said last year: “If I took you and blindfolded you and took you to LaGuardia Airport in New York, you’d think, ‘I must be in some third-world country.'” Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has also said, in 2011, that, “you land your plane at LaGuardia Airport, you go to LaGuardia Airport, it’s like a Third World airport.”

The terror that is LaGuardia brings us all together.

But who cares what Biden and Trump think about LaGuardia? Are they waiting in long TSA lines, barefoot and bored? Are they trying to find a sandwich that doesn’t cost $13, and a place to charge their cellphones? I don’t think so.

The criticism that matters comes from those of us who fly coach, and who don’t have the opportunity to shout their hatred from the rooftops. Among the people (well, among the people who are Yelp users), opinions are more mixed. Mostly, they show how frighteningly low our standards are when it comes to flying. Here are our favorites, in ascending rating.

One star

“The Amityville of airports”

“If pits had pits, they would look like LGA”

Two stars

“OMG OMG OMG im ashamed of this airport”

“A shit hole.”

“LaGuardia himself would be embarrassed to have his name attached to this clusterfuck.”

Three stars

“TSA groped me here.”

Four stars

“I wonder how long these ipads will last before the crowds destroy them.”

“There’s a few shops where you can buy liters of booze pretty cheap.”