We tried Kim Kardashian's fave selfie-editing app on a bunch of inanimate objects

Us Weekly reports that Kim Kardashian and her camera-savvy family all use a free app called Perfect365 to tweak their selfies to perfection before posting them on social media. This is according to an unnamed source — who, for all we know, may have never met a Kardashian and may also be on the Perfect365 payroll, but that’s besides the point. Considering that Kim K literally wrote the book on modern-day self-portraiture, that’s an endorsement I can’t ignore. I had to try it out for myself. 27 million Instagram followers can’t be wrong.

My phone’s front-facing camera is usually employed on the go, to confirm whether or not there’s food on my face, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Kim, it’s that you don’t have to smile in selfies.

As you can see, Perfect365’s built-in makeup overlays range from subtle to aggressively unsubtle.

I will say this: I’m impressed by how accurately Perfect365 triangulated my facial features without any input from me. I’ve played with earlier-generation makeover apps (who hasn’t spent a late night wondering what Blake Lively’s hair would look like on her own head?) that require you to manually select your eyes, mouth and nose, then fail to do a particularly good job of putting that information to work.

But what if I didn’t use a selfie at all? Doesn’t the clutter on my desk deserve to feel beautiful? When was the last time someone paid a compliment to the abandoned condiments in our communal fridge?

At first, the app is resistant. No face was detected, it insists, when I try to beautify a jar of peanut butter. Fortunately, you’re free to override this warning and select the face (or, in this case, the label) yourself.

I used Perfect365 to try out a variety of looks on a variety of junk found around the office. It didn’t go great.

First up, the peanut butter.

Some generic Aleve (your girl is frugal, and prone to headaches).

A water bottle.

A box of tissues, or the cover of The Great Gatsby?

And my personal favorite, a jar of tomato sauce that looks like it’s ever-so-slightly haunted.

Molly Fitzpatrick is senior editor of Fusion’s Pop & Culture section. Her interests include movies about movies, TV shows about TV shows, and movies about TV shows, but not so much TV shows about movies.