Jeb Bush is taking America back to the stone age.
With his diet, that is.
That’s right — Bush has turned to the famed “Paleo” diet in an attempt to shed some pounds before a likely presidential run. But The New York Times has exposed a key flip-flop in his caloric restriction. Last week, while he campaigned in the first-in-the-nation primary state of New Hampshire, he indulged in a piece of blueberry pie at the aptly named “Politics and Pie” event.
“Hell with the diet,” he said as he dipped his fork into the goo. Look at how his eyes lit up! (That’s relatable.)
Jeb Bush is thinking of running for president. And he is starving.
Temptation is always going to lurk near a dieter on the trail. But here are 11 indulgences worth ditching the diet for on the road to 2016.
Ohio — Cincinnati three-way chili
The Buckeye state is going to be a frequent stop, as it’ll be a near must-win for the eventual next president. Instead of stopping at Chipotle, Bush should get this:
New Hampshire/New England — clam chowder
Along with pie, Bush should take advantage of this excellent chowder the Northeast has to offer. Pancakes with famous Vermont maple syrup should also be high on his priorities.
New York — cronut
There aren’t a lot of food concoctions more New York than the cronut, which combines two very good things — the croissant and the doughnut — into one even better thing.
Wisconsin — cheese curds
There’s some disagreement over whether cheese is kosher for the Paleo diet. In this case, Bush should side with those who say it is.
Iowa — corn dogs
It’s almost a rite of passage for a politician to eat a corn dog at the Iowa State Fair come August. If Bush really thinks he’s got a shot at winning the Iowa caucuses, he’ll need to indulge, right?
South Carolina — shrimp and grits
This will be a potentially huge early primary for Bush en route to the nomination, and one that he can win with the help of this fuel:
Florida — Key lime pie
The former Florida governor probably had plenty of this in his earlier (and even recent) years. But key lime pie, which gets its name from the small key limes from the Florida Keys, should be the next dessert on his list.
Illinois — Chicago deep dish pizza
Pizza is also an option in New York — but hey, more bread here!
North Carolina — pulled pork sandwich
Just look at it:
Pennsylvania — cheesesteak
He just has to make sure he doesn’t screw up and get Swiss cheese on it.
Texas — brisket
Bush will be vying for Texas’ primary voters with two home-state favorites — Sen. Ted Cruz and former Gov. Rick Perry. To compete with them, he’ll have to eat like them.
Brett LoGiurato is the senior national political correspondent at Fusion, where he covers all things 2016. He'll give you everything you need to know about politics, with a healthy side of puns.