The Bachelorette, as always, is a stunning allegory of our times. This season's villain, Chad (of course he's named Chad), has quickly distinguished himself as an aggressive, self-centered sexist. But don't worry: What Chad lacks in social graces, he makes up for with his unique way with words, particularly when it comes to insults. And did we mention that he works in "luxury real estate?"
Sound like anyone you know?
As Vulture's Ali Barthwell keenly observed last week, Chad is Donald Trump. Donald Trump is Chad. Whether Chad intends to build a wall around the Bachelor mansion remains unclear, but I wouldn't rule it out. The Chad-Trump (Chump?) comparison even became Bachelorette canon on Monday night, when fellow contestant Daniel likened him first to Hitler, then to Donald Trump. Daniel, mind you, is Chad's only friend on the show.
These (real) Chad quotes from Monday's episode perfectly reflect his ineffable Trumpiness. Swap out "roses" for "delegates," and you'll see that Chad describes the other men competing for the heart of Bachelorette JoJo Fletcher almost exactly the same way a certain presumptive presidential nominee described his challengers in the GOP primary. Losers, all of them. Sad!
1. "Some of the guys got upset last night with me, but I’m not going to change who I am just because the other guys are sensitive. I’m just going to keep being myself."
2. "I feel like everybody here’s trying to make me come off like I’m a big jerk or something. Generally, I’m a pretty nice guy, a pretty cool guy. I don't have any problems with anybody."
3. "These guys feel the need to push the boundaries. They feel the need to test the big guy."
4. "Are you trying to insinuate that I’m stupid, Jordan? You’re a 27-year-old failed football player. You’ve done nothing with your life other than throw a piece of leather."
5. "I don’t do anything unless it’s in retaliation to something. I don’t start anything. I don’t take anything. That’s my thing."
6. "When you’re being accused of things that you haven’t done and people are saying things that aren’t true, there’s a point where there's literally nothing to do other than get physical."
7. "They’re all gonna realize I’m not just some joke, like they keep saying. This is for real. I’m for real. And I’m going to be here a while."
8. "I’ve never met a group of guys so sensitive. This is ridiculous."
9. "It’s like the little kid trying to beat up the bully. I’m the bully, but he’s bullying the bully."
10. "They’re trying to make it out to be like I’m being a tough guy, when I'm just being myself. They’re trying to be tough back in order to prove something, I guess, to themselves. …they’re being a little bit of wusses."
11. "Let’s not pretend I’m Hitler."
12. "I don’t want to have to physically fight you. But if there’s no way for me to get you to stop saying the things that you’re saying, then I will physically have to hurt you."
13. "I’m going to cut everyone here’s legs off and arms off and there’s going to be torsos and I’m going to throw them in the pool and I’m going to fuck up this entire damn thing." [Okay, in Trump's defense, this one may be a little much, but there's plenty of months to go until November.]
Molly Fitzpatrick is senior editor of Fusion's Pop & Culture section. Her interests include movies about movies, TV shows about TV shows, and movies about TV shows, but not so much TV shows about movies.