13 weird old Thanksgiving ads for cigarettes and booze

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Thanksgiving, the joyous American holiday of turkey and expensive gravy boats, is almost upon us. You might think that you've done all the shopping you need for this grand tradition. The fridge is probably stocked with green beans for casserole, and fresh cranberries, some glorious herbs, and a big fat turkey. On the table, you've already laid out a full carton of cigarettes and a couple cases of beer. What? You haven't? But cigarettes and beer are truly American Thanksgiving traditions. Really! Here are 13 vintage Thanksgiving advertisements that prove it:

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What makes a beer dry? IDK, but you can buy this beer with Victory bonds, so you know it's AMERICAN.

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What a beautiful table, Cathy! The turkey looks marvelous. I'll eat some as soon as I put out this cigarette. Give me 5 minutes!

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How to celebrate Thanksgiving: Shoot your turkey with a rifle, then shlep it home strapped to your back. Reward yourself with a cigarette afterward. As the ad says, "Everybody who smokes likes them," which I think might actually be true of every cigarette. Celebration!

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"In this friendly, freedom-loving  land of ours… Beer Belongs." Amen.

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THANK YOU, DON DRAPER.

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There are so many things wrong with this ad I'm not sure where to begin. Also confusing, you know, because Budweiser claims its beer only has “Water, Barley Malt, Rice, Yeast, Hops," in it. There is no corn in Budweiser, only "its neighbor barley." Good try, guys.

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"I wish we had more beer."

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Blended. Splendid. Turkey. Suit. Pabst Blue Ribbon, an American Tradition to boot!

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I think this ad is trying to argue that drinking whiskey will help you live longer, or something, according to "research" and "science." Sounds right.

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Old Gold cigarettes. Old Gold turkey. Old Gold fall leaves.

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This is actually not an ad for booze or cigarettes, it's an advertisement for warm Dr. Pepper. I assume you are supposed to add booze, even though the ad doesn't mention it. There's no way people were just drinking warm Dr. Pepper… right?

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"The best meal I ever had would be a disappointment if I couldn't enjoy Camels," reads this ad—which encourages you to have a cigarette after every single course to aid digestion!

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Did you forget that beer belongs? Don't forget!

Happy Thanksgiving to us all!

Kelsey McKinney is a culture staff writer for Fusion.