At a rally on Wednesday night, GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump repeatedly referred to Barack Obama as "the founder of ISIS." (He isn't.)

Hillary Clinton eventually responded to the claim on Twitter:

Based on this level of discourse, and Donald Trump's well-documented habit of flinging out wild conspiracy theories about President Obama, here are all of the other tweets that Hillary Clinton can plan on sending in the coming months.

No, Barack Obama did not once appear in a Croatian snuff film.

No, the movie “Porky’s” is not based on Barack Obama’s exploits as an unruly college student.


No, Barack Obama has never traveled to the Underworld. He does not reek of sulfur. He has regular human feet, not cloven hooves.

No, Barack Obama does not have a tail.

No, Barack Obama did not convert the Lincoln Bedroom into a Pagan sex dungeon.

No, Barack Obama did not mastermind the Balloon Boy crisis.

No, Barack Obama does not possess a curséd Transylvanian Monkey’s Paw.

No, Barack Obama cannot breathe underwater. He does not wear collared shirts in order to cover up his man-gills.


No, Barack Obama does not make an appearance in the 1976 porno flick The Opening of Misty Beethoven.

No, Barack Obama was not sworn in on a Qu'ran. He was also not sworn in on an Applebee’s menu.

No, Barack Obama is not half-man, half-horse. That is a centaur. Barack Obama is not a centaur.


No, Barack Obama is not cleaving into two smaller Obamas.

No, Barack Obama is not going to use the military to seize San Antonio and rename it “Hussein Antonio.”

No, Barack Obama does not have the disease from Jack.

No, Barack Obama's mother is not one of the monsters from Tremors.

No, Barack Obama's real name is not Xenu. He does not speak Gromlakk. That is not an actual language.


No, Barack Obama is not under the subliminal mind-control of the Illuminati. He has never been hypnotized by a Slovakian mesmerist.

No, Barack Obama cannot speak to dolphins, nor can they speak to him.

No, Barack Obama is not planning to create a religion called “Obammunism” and force all Americans to convert to it.


No, Barack Obama did not hatch from an egg.

No, Barack Obama is not deploying Marines to the Moon in order to mine Moon Diamonds.

No, Barack Obama is not a giant earthworm in a human suit. He does not leave a trail of slime behind him wheresoever he slithers.


No, Barack Obama will not transform into a giant bat at the end of his term, in order to terrorize our inner cities. Thank you, and now I hope we can get back to the real issues.