33 alternative locations for Santacon that aren't the East Village or Williamsburg
LatestThis Saturday in New York City is Santacon, the annual bacchanalia where young people dressed as Santa Claus congregate to chug cinnamon liqueur and vomit on various strips of pavement. This year’s Christmas booze-a-thon will take place in Williamsburg and the East Village, which has residents of those neighborhoods upset.
But it doesn’t have to be that way! Here are 33 perfectly good alternative locations for Santacon, which I hope this year’s Santas deeply consider:
- The Gowanus Canal
- Literally Anywhere in New Jersey
- One of Those Trash Barges That Floats Down the East River
- Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar
- The New York City Sewer System
- A PATH Train Bound for Hoboken
- The Offices of BarstoolSports Inc.
- The Frying Pan, Which Would Then Be Set Out to the Atlantic Ocean
- Trump Tower
- That $10,000 Helicopter Service That Rich People Take to the Hamptons
- Olive Garden
- An IRC Chatroom Called ‘Santacon’
- Turing Pharmaceuticals
- Tyler’s Sweet New Apartment in SoHo, Which Has a Sick Roof Deck
- The United Airlines Complaints Desk at Laguardia Airport
- The Trump Tower Sales Office
- A Single UberXL With Destination Set to ‘Artichoke Pizza’
- Canada
- A Medieval Times
- A Jos A. Banks
- A Prison
- Antarctica
- The Donald Trump Bar & Grill, Inside the Trump Tower
- An Abandoned Elevator Shaft
- A G Train Subway Car Stuck Between Classon and Nostrand
- A Theater Screening the 2015 Motion Picture “Krampus”
- The Staten Island Ferry
- The Long Island Railroad
- The California Pizza Kitchen
- A Soundproof, Inescapable Biodome Enclosing the Murray Hill Neighborhood
- Donald Trump’s Apartment, Which Has a Sick Roof Deck
- Iceland
- Nowhere
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