4 Escape Tactics to Buying Girl Scout Cookies

It’s girl scout cookie season, which if you’re into that kind of thing, this article might not be for you. But if you’re a cold-hearted grinch who likes to turn the sprinklers on when trick-or-treaters approach your home on Halloween, then this is most certainly for you. At this time every year, little gals in uniform (equipped with their buttons and stage moms) pull out all the sales tricks to see who can sell the most boxes of cookies in their troupe. Now, there’s nothing wrong with a heavenly box of samoas, however we can’t help but often times feel guilt-tripped into purchasing these addictive delights. Whether you want to save on the calories or you just want to be a grumpy grouch, here are four escape tactics to avoid those adorable, puppy-eyed faces born to sell.

1. Little White Lie

You either love or hate grocery shopping. Some find it therapeutic pacing up and down every aisle and others loathe the large crowds. Either way, what makes it worse is when you’re bombarded by two 11-year-olds trying to sell you boxes of unnecessary carbs. Most grocery stores have two entrances, and if these little girls are smart enough (hint: they are) then they’ll be standing at both. Even though you can’t escape them physically through either exit, you can be even more slick with your mouth. Say something like “I have my cash in the car. I’ll be right back.”

2. Cellphone Speed Walk

Or just speed walk out pretending to talk on the phone. You might feel slightly guilty but your waistline and the empty hole where your heart once was will thank you.

3. Stop, drop and crawl

When a girl scout comes to your door and you answer it, there’s no way you’re saying no. Especially with her mom, all cross-armed and whatnot in the background. This can be dangerous territory if you let it. To avoid answering the door (and being seen through the window), immediately drop to the floor and crawl under the windowsill to your bedroom till the doorbell has stopped ringing.

4. Send to Spam

The relentless type will have their mothers email blast you at work because they know that’s the one email address you have to look at. Simply send the emails to spam. Now you can use the “That’s too weird. I never got it” response when you’re asked about it at the next neighborhood BBQ.

If all this seems a bit too much to save $3.50 on a box of cookies, then by all means grow a heart and buy some.