5 Reasons You'll Never Marry a Prince William

Today marks the three year anniversary of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s royal wedding. It seems like yesterday we all woke up at 5am on April 29, 2011 to watch the livestream of the world’s most over-the-top affair (if only we paid as much attention to our relationships, hmm). But how realistic is it for any girl to land a real life prince? Here are five ways Princess Kate has you fooled:

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1. She was already rich. You’re still paying back your student loans.

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If you didn’t already know, Kate’s parents own a successful multi-million dollar party supplies company over in the UK. While it may not be a regal gig, Princess Kate grew up privileged. Like, Regina George privileged. You’re Cady Heron.

2. Princes don’t (usually) go to college. At least, not the ones we went to.

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Landing Prince William while attending the University of St. Andrews is not the reality for most college girls. Hell, you have a better shot at finding one at a McDowell’s in Queens.

3. She has an equally hot sister. That’s rare.

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Pipa Middleton stole Kate’s thunder at the Royal Wedding after debuting a derriere that hasn’t seen a carb in years.

4. She has the body proportions of a supermodel.

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C’mon! At 5’10” and a size two, Kate’s figure is owed to an intense daily workout routine. Ladies, checking in and taking a selfie at the gym doesn’t count.

5. You only curtsy for Beyonce.

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Apparently, when Kate first met William at a bar she curtsied out of royal custom. You know there’s only one person to bow down to: YONCE.