A drunk woman broke into a zoo to pet a tiger and guess what? The tiger bit her

It takes a precise amount of intoxication to be impaired enough to think petting a tiger is a good and actionable idea, yet not impaired enough that the zoo being closed and the tigers being in a secure enclosure is an obstacle.

KETV Omaha reports Jacqueline Eide, 33, is in the hospital after breaking into an Omaha, Neb., zoo while intoxicated and being bitten by a tiger.

According to the Omaha police, Eide managed to get into the zoo early Sunday morning before it opened and attempted to pet one of the tigers. The tiger promptly did what most tigers would do when offered free food, and bit her hand.

Eide was taken to Creighton University Medical Center by a friend, and staff members called the police after she was “aggressive toward staff” and showed signs of being on alcohol or drugs. The police issued a citation for criminal trespass.

The zoo says the offending tiger was an 18-year-old Malayan tiger named Mai. She has not issued any statement at this time.

Eide is only the latest to fall prey to the siren song of the zoo. The call of the wild seems to entice more people every year to break the bonds of regular business hours to frolic with, and be maimed by, wild animals. Some recent examples include.

• Two suspects were sought in 2012 for breaking into a Boise, Idaho, zoo and beating a monkey to death.
• Back in August, a shirtless meth addict climbed into a monkey exhibit, and proclaimed himself to be Tarzan.
• An Australian boy was charged in 2008 with breaking into a reptile center and feeding some of the smaller animals to a crocodile.
• A 20-year-old Afghan man living in Copenhagen, Denmark, was “eaten alive” by the Siberian tigers at the Copenhagen Zoo after infiltrating the tiger enclosure in 2012.
• A giraffe licked and then kicked an invader at the Henry Vilas Zoo in Madison, Wisc., in 2014.
• A Canadian man was clawed by a Siberian tiger at the Calgary Zoo who “was probably just freaked out by the unannounced intruders.”
• A black bear broke into the Alaska Zoo in Anchorage back in July and was very confused.

With the exception of the bear, I think everyone would be much better off if they chilled out and just watched videos of tigers playing on YouTube instead.