A Foolproof Way to Make Billionaires More Popular

The motherfucking shithead Waltons: AP
The motherfucking shithead Waltons: AP

Sad news today: the latest Bloomberg poll shows that a scant 31% of Americans say they have “admiration” for billionaires, while a majority say they distrust them. This lack of empathy is unfortunate. Luckily, there is one way billionaires can change this dynamic once and for all.

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Give all your money away.

Otherwise you will never know when we’re going to come for you, motherfuckers.

Senior Writer. Hamilton@SplinterNews.com

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