A Foolproof Way to Make Billionaires More Popular

The motherfucking shithead Waltons: AP

Sad news today: the latest Bloomberg poll shows that a scant 31% of Americans say they have “admiration” for billionaires, while a majority say they distrust them. This lack of empathy is unfortunate. Luckily, there is one way billionaires can change this dynamic once and for all.

Give all your money away.

Otherwise you will never know when we’re going to come for you, motherfuckers.


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Hamilton Nolan

Senior Writer. Hamilton@SplinterNews.com