The following is a horror story made up entirely of front-page headlines that have been used to tease stories on Weather.com, the homepage of the Weather Channel.
I.
They gathered at the beach by the thousands for a chance to see it.
It was spotted dozens of miles from the storm. They hadn’t seen anything like it; it hadn’t happened like this in the last 1,000 years. It’s floating off the coast and it could be toxic or explosive.
The military is worried about it, and you should be, too.
A map confirmed what scientists feared: The strange sight isn’t all it seems. It is growing bigger and more toxic; it only takes seconds for it to explode. Officials are worried about the potential for catastrophe.
And you thought you only had to fear sharks at the beach.
II.
He was squeezing limes in the sun; little did he know what could happen. It was just another trip to the beach; it was supposed to be a summer paradise. He looked down, and then he saw it.
He thought he was alone. He was wrong.
It’s powerful and swam to the surface. An incredible 8 inches in 30 seconds. He thought he could outrun it—a recipe for disaster. Who wins: man, or nature?
He didn’t make it. What goes up, must come down.
III.
What happened to him? What secret is he hiding? Will he get his dying wish?
It could get ugly in the coming days. They left it all behind…and it’s disgusting. Abandoned and left to rot. Disaster waiting to happen. You think it’s bad now? Just wait.
No one wants to return here. Up to 300 people die on this road every year; you might not be found. Don’t let this happen to you.
It just made landfall tonight; it’s headed north. It could happen soon, and it hasn’t happened in years. Everyone will talk about it. When will it reach you? This will change how you see the world. Could this be an omen?
It will last for days.
It’s almost here.
It will only get bigger this weekend.
You can swim in the devil’s pool…if you dare.