Illustration by Elena Scotti/Fusion

The Daily Mail recently published an article about a Reddit thread asking users to submit the worst baby names they'd ever heard of. Hopefully no one ever actually names their baby Orgasm, but it's no longer possible to avoid the fact that there's no more social decorum about what you choose to call your kid. We don't even need a Reddit thread to confirm that people are already choosing incredibly weird names for their kids, and the best way to gauge this lawless territory is by checking out all of the babies already named after corporations and their products.

Again, these are ACTUAL baby names:

  • Timberland
  • ESPN
  • Google
  • Facebook
  • Vista
  • Hershey
  • Hennessey
  • Audi
  • Hilton (as in hotel)
  • Zeppelin (as in Led)
  • Canon (as in the camera)
  • Celica
  • Courvoisier
  • Armani
  • Denim
  • Del Monte (as in canned vegetables)
  • L'Oreal
  • Nivea
  • Sephora
  • Lorde
  • Simba
  • Tintin
  • Ikea
  • Apple
  • Mac
  • Siri
  • Wrigley Fields

Let's not forget all of the babies being named after Game of Thrones characters, or celebrities with children named Pilot Inspektor, Bronx Mowgli, and Audio Science. Babies, it costs about $65 to change your name in New York Civil court right now, and hopefully won't go up too much by the time you realize how much you want to do it.

Sources: Flavorwire (and here), Boston.com, BBC News, TechDirt, BabyCenter, Bloomberg Business.

Danielle Henderson is a lapsed academic, heavy metal karaoke machine, and culture editor at Fusion. She enjoys thinking about how race, gender, and sexuality shape our cultural narratives, but not in a boring way.