As an unfortunate gentleman learned this week, it is really difficult to beat Serena Williams.
On her Facebook page Wednesday, Williams recounted how a Tuesday night nosh at a Chinese restaurant turned into a minor crime scene. A suspicious dude sidled up to her and, in a moment he figured she wouldn't notice, grabbed her phone.
Williams says she did not hesitate to act:
I jumped up, weaved my way in and out of the cozy restaurant (leaping over a chair or two) and chased him down.
He began to run but I was too fast. (Those sprints came in handy) I was upon him in a flash!
After catching up with him, Williams does her best to remain cool and collected:
In the most menacing yet calm no nonsense voice I could muster I kindly asked him if he "accidentally" took the wrong phone. He stumbled on his words probably not expecting this to happen. While he was thinking of the right thing to say and eventually he said "Gosh you know what I did! It was so confusing in there. I must have grabbed the wrong phone."
She ends with an important message we should all heed:
Superhero? Maybe? Or HELL YEA!! I've got the speed the jumps, the power, the body, the seduction, the sex appeal, the strength, the leadership and yet the calm to weather the storm.
Always listen to your superhero inner voice.
It's not clear if the man knew who he was dealing with. But: Don't steal phones, and definitely don't try to steal them from Serena, against whom most opponents don't stand a chance.
Rob covers business, economics and the environment for Fusion. He previously worked at Business Insider. He grew up in Chicago.