America's Favorite Teen Gets Permanent Top Secret Security Clearance

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Jared Kushner, aka The Clown Prince, the White House’s boy wonder diplomat fixing the Middle East at the tender age of just 37 years old, reportedly finally has his permanent security clearance.


The New York Times reports that Kushner was finally granted a permanent clearance recently after a yearlong FBI background check; before this, he only had an interim clearance, and chief of staff John Kelly downgraded Kushner and other White House officials from “top secret” to “secret” in February after the Rob Porter scandal.

So what does this mean for Jared, whose real estate company is about to sell a high-rise to a company whose investors includ the Qatari sovereign’s wealth fund and who secretly met with the head of a state-owned Russian bank during the presidential transition in 2016?

The permanent clearances make Mr. Kushner, who is married to Mr. Trump’s daughter Ivanka Trump, eligible to view some of the United States’ most closely guarded secrets, including the daily intelligence briefing that Mr. Trump receives and the delicate intelligence on the Israelis and the Palestinians that former diplomats said can be valuable in negotiations. Top-secret clearances are typically required for people viewing foreign intelligence or sitting in on high-level White House meetings.

I, for one, feel incredibly safe now.

CNN reports that Kushner also met with Special Counsel Robert Mueller for a second time in April, in an interview that spanned seven hours. But according to the Times, Kushner’s permanent clearance also means that he likely isn’t going to be charged with doing crimes any time soon.

The resolution of his clearances does not guarantee that Mr. Kushner faces no legal jeopardy. But Mark S. Zaid, a veteran Washington lawyer who handles security clearances, said it was highly unlikely that the special counsel would uncover evidence of improper foreign entanglements and not flag it for security officials.

“If I were Jared Kushner, I’d be sighing a breath of relief today,” Mr. Zaid said.

“With respect to the news about his clearances, as we stated before, his application was properly submitted, reviewed by numerous career officials and underwent the normal process,” Kushner’s lawyer Abbe Lowell told the New York Times. “Having completed all of these processes, he’s looking forward to continuing to do the work the president has asked him to do.” Can’t wait!!!!

News editor, Splinter