America's Worst News Couple Is Engaged!

Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski, the co-hosts of one of America’s most appalling cable news programs, have finally gone public with the romance everyone already assumed they were having. But it’s not just that: they’re engaged!

Yes, Joe—seen just last week telling his now-fianceé on national television that she was “snotty” and “rude”—whisked Mika off to the French Riviera and proposed. (She said yes.)

It’s been obvious for a long time that Joe and Mika were doing more with each other than just aiding Donald Trump’s rise to glory and giving the world’s most powerful and disgusting a friendly daily platform. In an interview with Vanity Fair, the two insisted that their relationship had only begun after their respective prior marriages broke up. Whatever the case, they’re now free to live their truth, even if it complicates the three-hour daily slot they’ve been given to yell uncomfortably at each other while a rotating cast of Beltway ghouls looks on.

“We want to spend the rest of our lives together and that’s more important than what management will think and critics will think or anybody else,” Joe gushed.

But don’t worry. They won’t be getting married at the White House, even though their buddy Donald suggested it. From Vanity Fair:

Once the fish and scalloped potatoes had been served, and special sauces delivered directly to Trump were placed on the table, the couple said that the president came up with an idea: If they planned on getting married, they should consider doing so at Mar-a-Lago or the White House, they recalled. “That’s when Jared [Kushner] interrupted and said, ‘Hey, you know what? I’ve got my license. I could marry you,’” Scarborough said. (A White House spokeswoman had no comment.)

According to Scarborough, that’s when Trump snapped from the end of the table, saying: “Why would you marry them? They could have the President of the United States marry them.”

Sorry, I was just vomiting in the corner. Anyway, congrats to the happy couple! Can I suggest a permanent honeymoon?