Scott Olson

All Randy Richardson had to do to get his spot on the Riceville, Iowa (population: 500) school board was take a walk down to the voting station and write down his own goddamn name, and apparently even that was too much for him. Get it together, Randy!

They held the election Tuesday in the farming town, and 36 people showed up. None of those people voted for Randy Richardson, the sole candidate for the school board on the ballot for the district 3 seat.

Howard County Deputy Auditor Amy Retterath said Richardson could have voted for himself, the Mason City Globe Gazette reported.

And why didn't good old Randy head down to the polls and submit his own name?

"I didn't vote because I was too busy," he told the Globe Gazette.

He still would like to be appointed, apparently:

Results will be canvassed by the Board of Supervisors at 9 a.m. Friday. If the canvass doesn't turn up any votes for Richardson, Retterath said the Riceville School Board will have to fill the vacancy by appointment or hold a special election.

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Alright, Randy.

Michael Rosen is a reporter for Fusion based out of Oakland.