Photo: Matt Cardy (Getty)

For nearly two early morning hours on Tuesday, President Donald Trump focused on one of the most vexing problems America faces on the 12-dimensional geopolitical chess board: Just what in the heck are we gonna do about those wine-sipping weirdos in France?

First, the President of the United States—who was just in France for a World War I ceremony and one long subtweet by French president Emmanuel Macron—reminded the public that France and Germany once hated each other, and, um...if they don’t pay more for NATO, they might hate...each other again?

Then he complained that it’s hard to sell American wine in France. By the way, did you know that Donald Trump just so happens to own a winery? What a weird coincidence!

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But actually, according to Trump, France is trés bon.

So, in conclusion (deep breath):

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Just some normal tweets from the President. Macron, on the other hand, decided against Engaging:

I hope Trump does this for every country on Earth.