Another Dude Is Apparently Running for President

Get a load of this: another dude is running for president! We know, seriously?! Running for president? In this economy?! But he’s doing it, folks!

The man in question in California Rep. Eric Swalwell, someone who you may have heard of if you obsessively followed the Trump-Russia investigation or live in the Bay Area, and probably haven’t heard of otherwise.

Swalwell, who sits on the House Intelligence Committee, has only been in Congress since 2013. He’s 38 years old, making him just a year older than Pete Buttigieg, another white dude you may have heard of who is seeking the land’s highest office.

The Congressman announced his run on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, where he said some stuff about teachers and truckers.

“I see a country in quicksand, unable to solve problems and threats from abroad, unable to make life better for people here at home,” Swalwell told Colbert. “I talk to teachers and truckers and nurses, and they feel as if they’re just running in place.”

He described his leadership style as “bold.” Cool!

Swalwell has done at least one impressive thing in his short career: he beat a 20-term Democratic incumbent, Pete Stark, to win his seat in the House. Since then, he’s advocated for gun control, education reform, and renewable energy. He also established something called the “Future Forum,” a group of young-ish Congresspeople who talk about issues important to millennials.

But none of this is enough to make Swalwell’s candidacy matter. Vox literally described him as “your average House Democrat.”

Why would this guy run for president, other than to potentially secure a spot in another Democrat’s cabinet?! We can’t say. (Though Swalwell has hinted that he is open to a vice presidential spot.)

Swalwell says he’s in it to win it, somehow.

“We’re not trying to sell a book or get a leadership position anywhere else. If I’m going to run, it’s going to be because we think we can win and, more important, make a difference,” he told the San Francisco Chronicle.

Please, average Democrats everywhere, we beg you. Stop running for president.