Screenshot: YouTube (Republicans for the Rule of Law)

From the Republicans who brought you the Iraq War comes a new, incredibly lame ad campaign calling on Americans to protect our beautiful boy, Special Counsel Robert Mueller, above all else.

Neoconservative demon Bill Kristol tweeted Tuesday night that a new ad from a group called Republicans for the Rule of Law was set to air on Wednesday morning during Fox & Friends and Morning Joe, but only in the Washington market. The gist of the ad—and the only discernible objective of the group Kristol helped create—is that “real conservatives,” many of whom just so happen to also oppose Donald Trump, must protect the integrity of Mueller’s investigation, because they just love the rule of law. (LOL.)

“In Vietnam, Robert Mueller rescued fallen Marines under enemy fire and was awarded a Bronze Star for Valor,” the ad begins, with a black-and-white photo of a striking, heroic young Mueller. “As the head of the FBI under George W. Bush, Mueller has been trusted by Americans to put America first.”

How Trumpian!

A second video on the group’s site is a Ronald Reagan lovefest, culling from his remarks while signing a Law Day proclamation in 1984 for the voiceover.

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“Without law, there can be no freedom, only chaos and disorder,” Reagan says in the spot.

Touchingly, the ad features all the kinds of law-abiding Americans that even a Reagan conservative could pretend to love: a dramatically lit white boy waving an American flag, a black cop, the Marines raising the flag at Iwo Jima, and a young black boy enjoying a barbecue with his family. The spot ends by urging viewers to visit their website, which features an even more depressingly lame video framing Mueller as an all-American saint, along with a message asking Americans to sign their name to a message which reads:

Mr. President: Firing Robert Mueller would gravely damage the Presidency, the GOP and the country.

Please don’t do it.

The ad’s debut comes as Trump has spent days stomping around the White House, visibly angry about the FBI raid on the home and office of Michael Cohen, his personal attorney. Bearing that in mind, it feels safe to say that—just as nearly 10,000 words of nuanced appeals to conservatives’ better angels didn’t stop Trump’s election—a mild-mannered call not to fire Mueller won’t save him, either.