As befits someone who’s devoted his whole career to the glorification of bosses, Dilbert man won’t even charge you for the privilege of having your lives mined for his professional well being. Wow, how generous!

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Besides, look at the guy: He’s just a normal dude—grinning in his big, empty mansion, with a mug (empty?) and bowl of indeterminate white goop. Who wouldn’t want Scott carefully taking notes about your every workplace interaction in between musings about the “Charlottesville hoax” and whether Hillary Clinton wouldtrigger a race war in the United States.

Please, invite this man to your meetings. He needs new ideas. He needs sustenance. He needs friends.