Halloween is that stressful time of year when creatively challenged people look to the news cycle for costume ideas. We get it. In a world full of nurses and firemen, a newsworthy costume gives people the impression that you're clever, worldly, and wise.
Oftentimes, however, costumes torn from the front page of newspapers can be blatantly offensive.
So as a public service message from Fusion—and a somewhat sad attempt to tap into Halloween SEO traffic while avoiding the scorn of our editors ("How did we not cover Halloween!? What, does no one have a calendar around here!") —we have compiled a helpful and slightly haphazard list of outfits that you should avoid at all costs. As a helpful bonus, we've also thrown in longer list of news-cycle-inspired costumes that are totally cool.
It should be pretty obvious why you shouldn't wear any of these awful costume ideas. But if you're one of those people who relies on others for common sense, let us spell it out for you clearly: These costumes are NOT acceptable, , regardless of what S.E. Cupp says.
A white guy wearing blackface and dressed as Ray Rice is a big double No. Still, a handful of fools thought they'd give it a try.
Before you put on that black ski mask, please read this very detailed account of what the ISIS hostages went through.
Then see if you get a laugh out of this ill-planned costumes.
We haven't found anyone dressed as slain teenager Mike Brown, but a cursory search on Twitter indicates that some are planning to showcase their costumes later tonight. Just don't, please. Don't be like that guy who dressed up—in blackface!—as Trayvon Martin.
You know what's funny? Callously joking about the death of close to 5,000 people who have died of Ebola. Or in this guy's case, dressing up your entire front yard like it.
Here are some clever Halloween ideas.
If anyone deserves to be ridiculed this Halloween, it's the supporters of #GamerGate, the toxic "movement" that viciously harasses and threatens women in the gaming industry.
All you need to pull this costume off is a video game controller and to constantly repeat the following:
The Last Dork to do The Ice Bucket Challenge
As annoying as ALS bucket challenge became, it actually makes for a fairly simple (read: lazy) costume. All you need is a bucket in your hand, and keep yourself perpetually wet with ice cubes falling out of your hair. This is a great idea for those of you living in, say, chilly New England, or those attending a Halloween party where the host has expensive rugs.
Tape a camera lens to your glasses or attach an iphone camera to your headband, throw on jeans, a plaid shirt, a hoodie, and BOOM. You're a tech world "disruptor." Frequently tell people to follow your livestream on your Twitter account.
Candidate Charlie Crist
Put white powder in your hair and spend all night emailing people you don't know to ask for money. Secretly prepare to switch back to the Republican Party by mid-November if midterms don't go well.
Generic White Girl
This has truly been the year of the basic white girl. Celebrate properly in your yoga pants and Ugg boots and cap it off with a steaming pumpkin spice latte. People will make fun of you, but hey, you'll be comfortable AND you'll have coffee.
Intense Dancing Kid
Do you possess a black polo shirt and some upsetting dance moves? Then you're golden.
If you own a pink long-sleeved shirt, a red salsa dress, or sunglasses with red lenses in the shape of hearts, you're all set to trick-or-treat as everyone's favorite new method of short-form communication.
Fidel Martinez is an editor at Fusion.net. He's also a Texas native and a lifelong El Tri fan.