Beyond Jonas: 26 pop culture-inspired Winter Storm names, from Adele to Zayn

This image was removed due to legal reasons.

This weekend, Winter Storm Jonas is expected to blanket much of the country in snow, with up to two feet of accumulation possible in parts of the mid-Atlantic.

Advertisement

That's a serious forecast, but a less than serious name—a name that puts many, including at least one member of the Jonas Brothers, in mind of the Jonas Brothers.

Advertisement

Why can't we always look to pop culture for our winter storm names? We've put together 26 suggestions that should keep the Weather Channel going for a while. (In the meantime, here's an amazing fact: Yolo is on their preselected list of winter storm names for 2016.)

A is for Winter Storm Adele

This image was removed due to legal reasons.

Funny how the 40-mph winds sound almost like the sighs of an ex-lover.

B is for Winter Storm Bieber

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Winter Storm Bieber will destroy everything in its path, and possibly—in an atmospheric phenomenon that science has yet to explain—egg your house.

C is for Winter Storm Cookie

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Winter Storm Cookie is here to get what's hers, and what's hers is the entire Eastern seaboard.

D is for Winter Storm Drake

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Those aren't raindrops. They're tears.

E is for Winter Storm Erykah

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Imagine an even more interesting remix of Winter Storm Drake.

F is for Winter Storm Fetty

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

There were once two eyes to this storm, but Fetty lost one to childhood glaucoma.

G is for Winter Storm Gwyneth

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

You're going to need to redecorate your home after the devastation of Winter Storm Gwyneth. May we suggest a warm, vibrant Aegean Throw ($198), or perhaps the eye-catching London Book Set ($685)?

H is for Winter Storm Hillary

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Winter Storm Hillary is expected to make landfall in Washington, D.C.

I is for Winter Storm Iggy

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Iggy is a winter storm, but don't be surprised if it blatantly appropriates the characteristics of a blizzard or hurricane.

J is for Winter Storm J.Law

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

The first-ever winter storm to get nominated for an Oscar, a BAFTA, a SAG Award, and three Golden Globes.

K is for Winter Storm Kardashian

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Nothing ups a selfie's drama factor quite like hailstones.

L is for Winter Storm Laverne

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Drivers beware: Orange is the new black ice.

M is for Winter Storm Mike

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Conditions will be wet. Very wet.

N is for Winter Storm Nicki

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Today it's icy, but we're praying for some more snow.

O is for Winter Storm Oprah

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

You get a blizzard! You get a blizzard! Everybody gets a blizzard!

P is for Winter Storm Pitbull

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

For the duration of this storm, please pretend "gale" rhymes with "dale." Thank you.

Q is for Winter Storm Questlove

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

The rhythm of rainfall never sounded quite so good.

R is for Winter Storm Rihanna

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Bitch better have my bread and milk.

S is for Winter Storm Shakira

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Your meteorologist's mouth may lie, but his hips don't.

T is for Winter Storm Taylor

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

I knew you were trouble when you blew in.

U is for Winter Storm Usher

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Unfortunately, with a wind-chill factor below zero, you're going to have to keep your shirt on.

V is for Winter Storm Vin

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

2 Fast 2 Frigid.

W is for Winter Storm Wes

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

A twee, meticulously art-directed weather event.

X is for Winter Storm Xzibit

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

I heard you like snow, so we put some snow in your forecast.

Y is for Winter Storm Yeezy

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

What up, Freezus?

Z is for Winter Storm Zayn

This image was removed due to legal reasons.
Advertisement

Expect gusts blowing in every direction.

Molly Fitzpatrick is senior editor of Fusion's Pop & Culture section. Her interests include movies about movies, TV shows about TV shows, and movies about TV shows, but not so much TV shows about movies.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter