Big Dumb Idiot Goes on a Field Trip

No one could mistake our dullard president for a student of history, but he made that abundantly clear by criticizing George Washington for not slapping his name on more things during a humiliating VIP tour of Mount Vernon last spring with French president Emmanuel Macron, Politico reported on Wednesday.

Let’s set the scene, shall we? (emphasis mine throughout)

During a guided tour of Mount Vernon last April with French president Emmanuel Macron, Trump learned that Washington was one of the major real-estate speculators of his era. So, he couldn’t understand why America’s first president didn’t name his historic Virginia compound or any of the other property he acquired after himself.

“If he was smart, he would’ve put his name on it,” Trump said, according to three sources briefed on the exchange. “You’ve got to put your name on stuff or no one remembers you.”

The VIPs’ tour guide for the evening, Mount Vernon president and CEO Doug Bradburn, told the president that Washington did, after all, succeed in getting the nation’s capital named after him. Good point, Trump said with a laugh.

Yes, long after 45 is gone, his name will live on in the gaudy tower, steaks, and vodka which once bore his name.

Bradburn, Trump and Macron’s guide for the deluxe tour treatment, “was desperately trying to get [Trump] interested in” the first president’s estate, to no avail, a source familiar with the visit told Politico. But he did find one shiny gold information nugget that grabbed Trump’s attention: Washington was rich!

Per the site:

Trump asked whether Washington was “really rich,” according to a second person familiar with the visit. In fact, Washington was either the wealthiest or among the wealthiest Americans of his time, thanks largely to his mini real estate empire.

“That is what Trump was really the most excited about,” this person said.

Trump, a man utterly obsessed with wealth, went on to criticize Washington’s shithole house, which was built in 1758, for having narrow staircases, rooms that are too small, and—gasp—“he even spotted some unevenness in the floorboards,” Politico reported, citing four sources.

Try harder next time, George, you ol’ cheapskate! Still, there was one very final thing Trump found to admire:

And despite his criticisms, Trump found something to like at Mount Vernon, too. Among the artifacts preserved there is the bed where Washington passed away from a throat infection in 1799. Trump, who is infamously picky about where he sleeps and resists spending nights away from home, felt out the bedpost and told the Macrons and Bradburn that he approved, according to three people briefed on the event.