Bigfoot's Dick Is Officially a Campaign Issue in Virginia

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Voters in Virginia’s 5th congressional district, who’ve already been made aware of the Republican candidate’s propensity for palling around with white supremacists, have now been confronted by another bizarre reality: The guy seems to have an unhealthy level of interest in Bigfoot’s big dong.

On Sunday evening, Democratic nominee Leslie Cockburn posted a series of tweets taken from her Republican opponent Denver Riggleman’s Instagram page, each featuring America’s favorite cryptid and his prodigious (albeit thankfully censored) dick.


Riggleman, Cockburn notes, has been an associate of Virginia senate candidate Corey Stewart, the Minnesota-born Confederate fanboy who has praised overt neo-Nazi (and fellow Republican) Paul Nehlen as his “personal hero” and insisted that the Civil War didn’t have anything to do with slavery.

Speaking with the Daily Progress, Riggleman claimed that he’s not actually all that into Bigfoot porn and that the images were simply “a joke” his old military pals played on him. Riggleman has, however, co-authored at least one other Bigfoot-centric book, Bigfoot Exterminators Inc: The Partially Cautionary, Mostly True Tale of Monster Hunt 2006, which contains passages like this:

According to the Cook Political Report, the “fundamentals” of Riggleman and Cockburn’s race favor the Republican candidate, but “the lack of a competitive statewide race and the nominees’ oddities make it unpredictable.”

It’s worth noting, in any case, that in each picture shared by Cockburn, Bigfoot’s big feet aren’t actually visible, raising the question of whether the illustrated penis in question belongs to an actual Sasquatch or just an extremely hirsute man.