Bloomin' Done-ion

This image was removed due to legal reasons.

I’m pleased to tell you that former New York City mayor and gajillionaire businessman Michael Bloomberg will not run for president in 2020.

The blessed news came in the form of an op-ed published on (where else?) Bloomberg, Mike’s eponymous news outlet. There, Bloomberg waxed philosophical about his feelings about Donald Trump (not a fan), his career as a politician (3-0) and his business track record (he’s very, very rich) before getting to the damn point:

As I’ve thought about a possible presidential campaign, the choice before me has become clear. Should I devote the next two years to talking about my ideas and record, knowing that I might never win the Democratic nomination? Or should I spend the next two years doubling down on the work that I am already leading and funding, and that I know can produce real and beneficial results for the country, right now?

I’ve come to realize that I’m less interested in talking than doing. And I have concluded that, for now, the best way for me to help our country is by rolling up my sleeves and continuing to get work done.



Bloomberg’s announcement comes after months of speculation that he might toss his hat into the already jam-packed ring of Democratic candidates, thus making an already intolerable primary season downright nauseating.

Instead, he announced, he’ll be putting even more of his considerable resources toward his “Beyond Carbon” initiative, and helping combat gun violence.

Wow, a billionaire who’s actually scraped together the bare minimum of dignity to not lurch toward the highest office in the land? Howard Schultz, eat your heart out.

Senior writer. When in doubt he'll have the soup.

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