Can Anyone Understand What This Angry Shouty Guy Is Saying

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Rep. Doug Collins is the ranking Republican on the House Judiciary Committee, where former Special Counsel Robert Mueller is testifying today on his extensive investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election. As such, his questioning of Mueller set the tone for the Republican Party’s strategy in the hearing. Here is that strategy:

Collins has a thick Georgian accent. He also made the deliberate choice to talk very fast. As a result, I do not have any idea what he was saying. Mueller also did not appear to have much idea what he was saying. Look at this shit:


Collins seemed to think that if he loaded his questions with double-negatives and asked them at rapid-fire speed, he would get Mueller to slip up. That doesn’t appear to have worked, seeing as nearly everything he asked was answered with some variation of “I’ll leave the answer to the report,” or a reiteration of the report. Keep up the great work!

Contributing Writer, Splinter

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